


Detective Grif and the Case of his Eaten Enchiladas

by AgentGreyNevada



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: AU - College, Alternate Universe - College/University, Chirstmas, Comedy, Funny, Happy Ending, Holiday Season, Mexican Food, Mystery, Other, Surprise Ending, Whodunnit, enchiladas, holiday party, who stole grif's food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGreyNevada/pseuds/AgentGreyNevada
Summary: It's the holiday season at the Reds and Blues' house and they gathered to have a massive Pot Luck and Secret Santa gift exchange. Grif soon then realizes that his enchiladas, that he waited forever to eat specifically for this potluck, have gone missing. He spends most of the holiday party with his detective hat on, playing whodunnit.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Detective Grif and the Case of his Eaten Enchiladas

**Author's Note:**

> This was done for a Secret Santa gift exchange!

"SIMMONS." Grif was already fuming and they had only been there 20 minutes. "WHERE'S MY ENCHILADAS?" 

"Did you eat them, fat ass?" Simmons replied, putting the gifts under the tree in an organized fashion as more guests wandered in later than expected. "Church, don't put your gift there, I have a system!" 

"Fuck your system, Simmons. Once Caboose sees these, he's going to _destroy_ it." Church mumbled as he shoved his present under the tree and walked into the kitchen to find Carolina and Washington. Simmons sighed. 

"No dickhead, I didn't eat them. I've been waiting _days_ to eat them here!" Grif made the enchiladas a day or two before the party, offering to bring them as part of the potluck. It offered a good variety from cookies, egg nog, meat and cheese platters and awfully made steak from Sarge. 

"Did you check the fridge?" Simmons spoke while reorganizing the presents under the tree _again._

"Do you think I'm that retarded?" Grif stood with his arms crossed. He often became the butt of a joke for being the laziest in their insane group of friends, but when it comes to food, he became a different man. 

"I never said that! I was just thinking of logical places it could be!" Simmons yelped slightly. "But...is the pan still there? Or did the perpetrator take that too?" 

"Yeah, the plate is gone too. And it's my favorite small sized plate!" 

"...Grif that plate is 14 inches long. That's _not_ small sized." 

"It's small to me!" Grif rolled his eyes and walked back to the kitchen, Simmons offering no actual help. He would have to be his own detective on the case. 

"Alright you assholes," Grif came into the bustling kitchen, his hands on his hips. "Who-" 

"Pardon me, hot tray coming through!" Donut whisked by Grif, cutting his words off while holding two trays of freshly baked cookies. Grif almost got distracted by the scent of the chocolate chip cookies, but he was on a mission. He shook his head to get rid of the smell in his nose. 

"WHO TOOK MY ENCHILADAS?!" Grif shouted loud enough to cause everyone in the rather large space to go quiet, the only noise coming from the Christmas radio station playing softly in the background. 

Washington looked around at everyone present while he sat at the counter, making fresh whipped cream. "I don't...think any of us saw it." 

"It was right here!" Grif slammed his hand on the counter, in the empty space where his favorite dish sat not even ten minutes ago. "The dish is gone too!" 

"Okay Grif, let's take a chill pill." Carolina stalked over, bearing her normal tank top and sweatpants and she looked the group of 5 in the kitchen. "Did anyone eat Grif's food? Be honest." Her voice contained hints of danger if they didn't tell the truth. Numerous no's echoed in the room with shaking of heads. 

"Have you asked Caboose?" Tucker glanced over from where he was currently lounging with Kaikaina in the love seat. Caboose was definitely an easy contender for accidentally eating the food, or doing anything in general. 

"Where is he?" Grif sighed as Washington came over to him. 

"Downstairs. I'll be the translator." Washington rolled his eyes. Wash had a...caring touch with Caboose. 

In the family room of the house, Caboose was sprawled out on the floor, playing with a train set that he found in one of the closets. Freckles, their dog, slept over by the window, letting the sun bathe his belly. 

"Hi Caboose," Washington approached the man child slowly as Caboose looked up at the blonde with big blue eyes. 

"WASH! IS CHURCH HERE?" He shouted, unaware of the concept of having an indoor voice. Wash gave a heavy sigh. 

"Caboose...did you eat Grif's enchiladas?" He pointed behind himself to Grif, avoiding Caboose's question. Once he knew Church was here, getting any attention from Caboose was damn near impossible. 

"An en chihuahua?" 

"No, an _enchilada."_

"...what's that?" 

Grif sighed. "Wash, this is pointless." 

"Caboose, did you eat anything shaped like a roll?" Wash squatted down to be more on Caboose's eye level. 

Oh yeah I had one of those...sticky thingies. I think Private Croissant made them." Grif eyed the cinnamon glazed plate over on the table, most likely remnants of this cinnamon roll Caboose was speaking of made by Donut who was overbaking on sweets as usual.

"Wash, this really is pointless." Grif was already halfway out of the room. 

"I saw them though." Caboose spoke up. "Your chihuahuas. On the table." 

"When did you see them?!" Grif instantly came back over, basically catapulting over Washington. 

"Well when Private Croissant was in the kitchen with Agent Carolina and Washington and Simmons was there and so was that pirate guy-" 

"You mean Sarge." Grif deadpanned. 

"The red guy." 

"So yes you mean Sarge." 

" _Pirate_ Sargent." 

"Okay, whatever you say buddy." Grif immediately left the room, leaving Wash in the dust and went outside the house, where was probably hiding. 

"Sarge, come out." Grif shouted into the yard where multiple igloos around, most likely serving as decoys. Grif sighed audibly, shivering slightly from the cold outdoors and rubbing his arms as he stepped out onto the porch of the house. "Sarge, come on, I gotta ask you something." 

"Is it what I want from you when you die?!" His southern accent cut through the snow and trees of the yard, but the slight echo made it hard to determine where he was located. Then again, Grif was too lazy to check each and every single snow fort. 

Grif exhaled, his breath visible in the below freezing temperatures. "Fine. I'll let you hit me with a snow ball if you answer my que-" As he spoke, a big ball of slush and snow smacked him right across the face. "...I think that answers my proposal." 

"Whaddya want, dead meat?" Sarge stalked out of the igloo he was in, dressed head to toe in paintball gear and a ski mask. He took snow ball fights and protection of the house _very_ seriously. 

"Were you in the kitchen when Caboose got a cinnamon roll from Donut?" Grif's cheek was now red from the ball's impact on his face and was wiping slush off his face. 

"Why, yes I was. Was grabbing some uh, salt for my snow fort." 

"...salt." Grif squinted at Sarge. "What do you need salt for?" 

"To melt the snow and stay hydrated! It's hard work protecting the premises when no one else wants to pitch in." Sarge huffed, sticking out his chest. Grif rolled his eyes. 

"You could...just bring out a bottle of water." Even the lazy one would've considered doing that before getting _salt._

"Nonsense! You gotta do it the au naturale way!" There was no way in convincing Sarge out of his....strange ways. 

"But anyway, you did see Caboose in the kitchen. Did you see my enchiladas?" 

"Oh, those greasy fried roll things? They were on the counter, but I wasn't focused on those." Sarge commented as Simmons came outside. 

"Hey, we're starting Secret Santa!" The string bean Irish man called to the Hawaiian and Southerner. The two made their way inside, Sarge not even bothering removing all his tactical gear as he sat in a circle with the rest of the Reds and Blues. Grif, however, refused to join. "Aw come on Grif, join us! I bet you got a great Secret Santa!" Fun fact: Simmons rigged the system so he could get Grif. 

"I WANNA KNOW WHO ATE MY ENCHILADAS!" Grif yelled, getting the attention of everyone in the room. All eyes turned to him, even Bitters, his 'little brother'. 

"Wathn't me I thwear," Bitters spoke with a mouthful of brownies that Carolina made. Grif stared at the freshman. 

"Oh yeah? Prove it to me." Grif crossed his arms as everyone waited for the two to settle the score. 

"Cuth-" Bitters was still chewing when Carolina rolled her green eyes. 

"Fucking chew your food first." She bitched back as Bitters shamefully chewed and swallowed the rest of the fudgy brownie. 

"Fine. I saw a guy take them." Bitters answered Grif after a few seconds. 

"Who?!" Grif hovered over the couch like an impatient child. 

"Some guy, rather big, I think he was Hispanic-" 

"Oh, he means Locus." Washington interrupted Bitters's description. Locus was the same age as everyone else but often kept to himself, not wanting to deal with the Reds and Blues' shenanigans. 

"Why isn't he down here?" Grif looked around at all of his friends. Locus was nowhere to be seen, which was mostly normal for a quiet beast like himself. 

"He didn't want to participate. What a loser." Simmons grumbled by the lit up Christmas tree, annoyed that this conversation was taking longer than necessary. 

"His room is upstairs on the left." Washington told Grif. The two shared a house together with another guy named Felix, but he was out with friends. Thank _god._ Grif dashed upstairs - which was a rarity for him - and went straight to Locus's bedroom, knocking on the door. 

"Locus, I know you're in there-" Grif twisted the handle and let himself in. "What did..." Grif entered, ready to antagonize the junior literature major. Locus was stretched out on his bed, writing in what seems to be a journal. No lights were on, making the gray colored room more dreary than before. "...Locus?" 

"What do you want." Locus had indeed a scary voice - it was very low and deep, he could be a horror movie narrator. Grif scanned the room quickly, eventually seeing the pan of half-eaten enchiladas sitting on Locus's bedside table. He didn't remove his eyes from his notebook. 

"...did you eat my enchiladas?" Grif changed his tone, sensing that Locus was in no mood to deal with someone shouting at him. Locus finally stopped writing, an eye gazing up at him. 

"I...." Locus didn't realize the food was Grif's, or anybody's. He wasn't going to deny he did so - he was caught red handed and he wasn't going to lie his way out of this. He wasn't Felix who was a skilled liar. 

"Look man," Grif interrupted during Locus's prolonged silence. "I've been waiting all day to eat those and I...." Grif finally _looked_ around the room, taking the time to get a sense of where he was. Pictures of Locus's family scattered the wall. "....you can't go home, can you?" 

"...no." Locus looked down at the floor, shutting his journal, figuring Grif was not leaving his room anytime soon. "The plane tickets are....rather pricey, and I wouldn't be home no more than a few days, so...it was not worth it." Locus's family was from Mexico, but him and his mother moved to the States when he was a teenager. He rarely got to go home and see his mother, let alone the rest of his family.

"...so my enchiladas-" 

"Grif, I missed my mother's home cooked food. I...saw it and...felt like it was sent from God to...lift my spirits." Locus was never really honest about his feelings, but he was lonely. He missed his family, especially his younger sisters during the holiday season. This would be his first Christmas not being with them. Grif stood in the center of Locus's room, feeling guilty. 

"Here." Grif came over after grabbing the pan that was half eaten. He sat on the edge of Locus's full sized bed - which frankly didn't look like it could allow a man of his size to sleep comfortably - and offered one to Locus. "I'll be your family." 

Locus, being skeptical if he heard that correctly, sat up and took the offering from Grif. "You...don't have to worry about-" 

"No dude, you're now my family. Congratulations, by the power vested in me, being the oldest sibling in my family, you are now a Grif. Now, dig in."


End file.
